


everything has changed

by sxntiago



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Family Fluff, Fatherhood, Fertility Issues, Fluff, Love, Married Couple, Married Life, Newborn Children, Parenthood, Peraltiago, Pregnancy, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:15:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23864380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sxntiago/pseuds/sxntiago
Summary: Mac is gazing up at Jake with wide eyes. His nose wrinkles up as Jake stares back at him, his little rosebud lips that are so like Amy’s pouting as he furrows his brows, watching his father’s every move. A smile spreads across Jake’s face as he reaches out carefully to stroke Mac’s cheek. So soft. So warm. So surreal.Jake bonds with baby Mac while Amy sleeps.
Relationships: Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago
Comments: 18
Kudos: 133





	everything has changed

**everything has changed**

  
A whole five hours after Mac’s birth, Jake still can’t quite believe that he is really here.

It is early in the morning now, and the tiny newborn has taken up residence in Jake’s arms while Amy sleeps soundly in the hospital bed. Cradling his son carefully, Jake sits in the hospital room’s plastic chair, his right leg crossed over the left to help support his baby. After about an hour of trying to settle Mac, the couple finally succeeded in calming him down about twenty minutes ago. At long last, Mac is quiet, and Amy has - rightly so - taken the opportunity to rest, not needing much persuasion from Jake before falling into a deep sleep.

Jake admires his wife and how perfect she looks, even after an experience as traumatic as childbirth. Her nose twitches, her lips wobbling as she snores softly. Jake is in complete awe of her, more amazed by her strength than he ever thought he could be, and all he wants to do is thank her over and over and over again for doing this – for giving him the tiny bundle of joy laying peacefully in his arms.

Mac is gazing up at Jake with wide eyes. His nose wrinkles up as Jake stares back at him, his little rosebud lips that are so like Amy’s pouting as he furrows his brows, watching his father’s every move. A smile spreads across Jake’s face as he reaches out carefully to stroke Mac’s cheek. So _soft_. So _warm_. So _surreal_.

For some time, Jake thought this might never happen for the two of them. When he and Amy decided that they were ready to start trying to get pregnant, Jake thought, naively, that making a baby would be easy. He thought it would be fun and romantic and exciting. He wasn’t at all prepared for the heartache that awaited them, and it is strange now to look back and think that, just under a year and a half ago, Jake had no idea how much of a whirlwind trying to conceive would be for them.

At first, Jake blamed himself for their infertility. After all, if he hadn’t had doubts about having children to begin with, he and Amy might have started trying to have a baby earlier. They both would’ve been younger. Amy’s biological clock wouldn’t have been _tick, tick, ticking_ in the background, constantly reminding them that, no matter how much they wanted it, they may never have a baby. It was always there, looming over them and threatening to destroy their plans, though they both tried hard not to acknowledge it.

By the time they resorted to fertility drugs, they were desperate, both of them unwilling to give up their dream of starting a family but equally unable to carry on the way they were. Watching Amy pump her body full of hormones was one of the worst experiences of Jake’s life, but then, after less than a month on fertility drugs, they found out that Amy was already carrying a baby. Mac had been there all along, just waiting for them to notice him.

Waiting for Mac to arrive was almost unbearable, and though Jake was excited to become a father, he was also exceedingly nervous, a feeling made unimaginably worse by his father’s belief in the Peralta curse. For his entire life, one of Jake’s biggest fears has been ending up like his old man, and the worry that he might not be able to bond with his son was almost too much for him. However, when he voiced his concerns to Charles over a beer, his best friend was quick to reassure him that as long as he loved his son, Jake would be a great dad, and Jake isn’t worried at all anymore because he does love him. He loves him _so_ much.

The feeling is powerful and almost overwhelming. From the moment he first heard his son’s cry, he has been head over heels in love with him. Jake knew instantly that he had never felt a love this strong in his life and that he would do absolutely anything to keep this little guy safe. He’d carve his own heart out and put it on a plate if it meant protecting Mac. Jake finally understands the feeling of a true father-son bond. It is indescribable, unimaginable love and devotion, and as Jake gazes down at his son and relives the past year and a half in his mind, he can’t think of anywhere he’d rather be or anything he’d rather be doing.

Jake smiles lopsidedly at his son. He runs a hand through the baby’s full head of surprisingly thick hair. It’s dark like Amy’s, and inexpressibly soft.

“Hi, Mac,” Jake whispers into the air as quietly as he can, aware that his wife is asleep not two feet away from him. “I’m your daddy.”

Mac makes a tiny spluttering noise that makes Jake feel like his heart might be about to explode. He can’t imagine loving anything more, and he can’t believe he was worried about this, about whether he would be able to connect with his son and whether he would be good father. The Peralta curse is well and truly broken because Jake adores this little boy with every ounce of his being. He is _everything_. The sun, the moon, and all of the billions of stars.

“I can’t believe you’re finally here,” he says, his words so quiet they are almost unintelligible. “I’ve been so excited to meet you for so long.”

Mac yawns suddenly, his eyelids fluttering closed and then back open again almost immediately. Jake laughs slightly, tilting his head to the side.

“You’re tired, huh, little guy?” Jake asks, running a finger over Mac’s tiny nose and watching in awe as the newborn reaches out and wraps his little hand around Jake’s finger. His grip is so gentle and weak that Jake immediately freezes, scared that if he moves even an inch, he might hurt him. Mac gurgles, pulling Jake’s finger towards his mouth, and Jake’s heart feels like it is swelling, like it might be about to pop out of his chest. “God, I love you so much. I’ll never let anything happen to you, you hear me? I promise.”

Mac hiccups quietly, and then, as if frightened by his own voice, his face screws up and he begins to wail. Jake’s stomach twists as Mac begins to cry, worried about the baby waking Amy, and he stands up abruptly, carefully holding his son upright against his chest.

“Hey, no, shhh,” he says, his tone filled with more desperation than he expects it to be. “You’ll wake mommy.” He bounces the baby frantically in an attempt to calm him, but his cries only grow louder.

“Jake?” Amy’s sleepy voice says from the hospital bed. She lets out an almighty yawn.

Jake looks over his shoulder at her, one hand on Mac’s bottom and the other supporting his head. The early morning sunlight is streaming through the window now, making Amy’s dark eyes sparkle. “Ames,” he sighs in defeat, realising she is well and truly awake now. “Dammit. He woke you. I’m sorry.” He looks down as he repositions Mac so he is able to look at his face. It is still screwed up, his cheeks already turning bright red. “I don’t know why he’s crying. Maybe he’s cold. Maybe I scared him. Maybe-”

“Babe,” Amy interrupts with a laugh, “he’s probably just hungry.”

“Oh,” Jake says, a wave of realisation and relief crashing over him. He hadn’t thought of that. This whole _‘having a baby’_ think is going to take a while to get used to, but they’ll do it together. As a _family_.

Amy laughs again. “Bring him here,” she says, holding her arms out and beckoning Jake towards her.

Jake immediately obliges, walking across the room impossibly slowly because _what if he trips or something?_ When he eventually reaches Amy, he places their son carefully into her outstretched arms. She sighs happily as she cradles Mac, her body physically relaxing as a metaphorical weight seems to be lifted from her shoulders as soon as her son is placed in her arms. She holds him close, though Jake notices she still treats him like she might break him, like she doesn’t know what she’s doing yet, just as he does.

“Let’s see if I can get him to latch,” Amy says, her voiced laced with uncertainty as she pulls down the front of her hospital gown. Jake thinks back to earlier, when he watched a nurse show Amy how to feed Mac, and remembers how amazed he was as he watched Amy’s body continue to sustain their son even now that he is living outside of it. “Could you help me sit up a little straighter?”

Jake immediately jumps into action, maybe a little bit too eagerly. He hears Amy giggle softly as he gently aids her into a more upright position.

“Is that okay? Are you comfortable?” Jake asks.

Amy re-positions Mac, cupping the back of his head with her hand and guiding him towards her breast. “I’m good,” she says, smiling down at their son.

Jake watches as she moves him around a little more before eventually settling him into place. She sighs contentedly as his screaming ceases.

“Okay. I think that’s it…?” Her words sound more like a question than a statement. “I think he’s feeding…?” She pauses. “Oh, okay. Yeah. He’s definitely feeding.”

Jake laughs breathily as he perched on the side of the hospital bed. He reaches out to run his hand over Mac’s back.

“He’s so tiny,” Jake coos in disbelief.

“He is,” Amy breathes. “So tiny.”

“Right? And _so_ amazing,” Jake continues, grinning at Amy. Gently, he brushes a stray strand of hair out of her face, tucking it loosely behind her ear. “ _You’re_ amazing.”

Amy blushes, gazing at Jake lovingly. “He’s half you, too, you know?”

“I know, but you cooked him,” Jake laughs, “and so _perfectly_ , too.”

“Yeah, I did,” Amy giggles. She sighs quietly, and then pouts, pointing at her stomach. “It’s weird not having him in there.”

“Good weird? Or bad weird?” Jake asks.

Amy screws her face up as if she is considering the question. “Both,” she admits slowly. “I love having him in my arms and finally being able to see his face, but it felt pretty good being able to keep him safe all of the time.”

Jake smiles. “I know, but we’ll keep him safe out in the world, too, okay?”

Amy nods. “I’m so happy he’s finally here with us.”

“Me too,” Jake replies.

Looking at his little family, he sees the world, and God, he already can’t imagine a life without them both. He is lucky – the luckiest man in the world – to have the two of them.

Jake reaches out and cups Amy’s face in his hand, scooting closer to her. Amy smiles back at him, resting her cheek in his palm.

“I love you so much, Ames,” Jake whispers.

“I love you, too,” Amy replies, still smiling. Gently, she moves Mac away from her body until Jake can see his entire face. The baby gazes at the world around him, his eyes filled with wonder and amazement. Amy sighs happily. “We did it, Jake. We really _did it_.”

Jake’s face softens. “Yeah,” he breathes, wishing he could freeze this moment in time and live in it forever. “Yeah, we really did.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this one shot! I’ve been working on it since the finale (which, by the way, was amazing and made me cry a lot). I have a couple more in the works at the moment. Let me know what you thought of this one! 
> 
> Also, if any of you read my other fics you may notice they have been deleted (apart from my 100 ways one shot collection). This is so I can take my time writing them and make sure they’re exactly how I want them to be before posting them. They should be improved and back up soon! 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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